I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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