Buhtt sex?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
