Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am available for nakedness
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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