So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
