Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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