Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
