Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
