I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
