Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
