I'm so fucking centered right now
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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