he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
