The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
