I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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