TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
