It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
