I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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