i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
