ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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