shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
