All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There r osticjed everywhere
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize