btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize