How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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