so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
