Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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