I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
