It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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