Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
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