I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
