Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
