So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
