I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
