He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
