He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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