i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
