We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
