I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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