My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize