i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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