I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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