we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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