just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
