i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
