Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
