margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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