R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
