You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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