38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
