this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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