I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
