she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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