I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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