You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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