my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
