I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
