dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
