i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize