I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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