I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
